My Christian Background - written in December of 2004 at age 25 - slightly revised in early 2012 I wanted to take a small opportunity to welcome you to the group and to perhaps offer my own orthodox christian perspective of this group, and my gnostic pauline perspective of christianity. First, allow me to say that I am now 25 years old and have been a believer and follower of Christ since childhood. My family did not raise me in church, nor did I receive much guidance, for or against the christian religion, from those around me. Yet, christianity has been a very inseparable part of my life. I will be more than happy to share some of my orthodox christian experiences with you, should you or others be interested in the details. Second, allow me to say that I spent my childhood years as a southern baptist boy whose theology primarily revolved around Jesus' expected return near the year 2000. I was firmly entrenched with a fundamentalist mindset and dispensational theology. My christian experience expanded as a teenager, as I spent much of my teenage years within pentecostal, word-of-faith, tbn circles. This was the beginning of my search for true biblical christianity, as I spent an enormous amount of time and energy following various ministries, movements, and churches within the overall restorational movement of christianity. By restorational, I am referring to the elusive dream of returning back to the new-testament-church, which operated in signs-and-wonders and the full 5-fold ministry. I am referring to the time that restorationalists believe that complete undeniable unity, and doctrinal purity, existed within the church of God. I am talking about a time prior to the great apostasy and dark-ages came. Most protestants believe this to be shortly after the nicene creed, but most restorationalists recognize it as having occurred during the actual times of the apostles themselves, but insist that all christian dogma, established at the nicean council, was ordained or preserved by God. Needless to say, I know a few things about living the christian experience. I have spent the better part of 15 years fearing demons, devils, satan, deception, cults, magic, the occult, etc. I know what it is to believe that God faithfully preserved the bible as his inerrant written word. I know what it is to live a sin conscious life. I know what it is to have fire-insurance from hell, and yet always being mindful of the fact that my insurance policy might have been null and void, from the beginning: false Jesus, false gospel, wrong church membership - or later nullified due to my ability to backslide away from the grace of God's saving mercy. I am sure that you should be able to detect that I no longer embrace any of these traditional Christian views, but allow me to briefly outline some orthodox Christian views, which I am very much influenced by, as I am very much a worshipper of the living Christ who conquered death, hell, and the grave. Jesus paid the price for the sins of the world. He nailed all dogma, civil and church law, to his cross, thus opening a path towards universal salvation for all of creation. As Jesus is the last adam, so the holy, catholic, apostolic, and gnostic church is the last eve! As Jesus suffered crucifixion, death, and resurrection, so has the church suffered division, apostasy, and redemption. The coming manifestation of the children of God, and the manifest presence of God, shall restore the garden of eden, as all of creation experiences the restoration of all things. Indeed, it would be impossible for me to fully explain how my many years within restorational orthodox christian circles have influenced my theology, as it would also be impossible for me to fully explain how much I have since deviated from those circles. During easter 2003, I finally came home to the roman catholic church. I did this after years and years of believing that she was the apostate whore of babylon, who was the great enemy of Christ, but no longer could I argue with the catholic apologists. Intellectually, there was no way around the fact that all christian dogma was build around the nicene creed, and the canonical scriptures delivered to us from the roman catholic church. The pure lunacy of accepting her creeds, dogmas, and scriptures - while simultaneously rejecting her - was getting to me. Moreover, I was finally able to look beyond the paganism to see the beauty and mystery of catholicism. The merging of my restorational theology with the ancient traditions of catholicism brought great hope into my life, but I continued to feel uneasy about the christian message. Increasingly, many of my childhood questions came back to me. If the garden of eden is taken literally and Christ came to restore us from the great fall, shouldn't we all be naked and unashamed before God and one another. Why is God known by different names and have different relationships to mankind according to those names? If Jesus is the firstborn of many brethren, should we not manifest christhood in his footsteps? If mankind is so desperately wicked, why then would Jesus even come in the flesh to begin with? If we know that some books of the bible where banned from the bible, for political and dogmatic reasons, then how many others exist outside our current knowledge? These and many other questions continued to haunt me, so resting was not an option. Ultimately, I continued to search for answers. The more truth I found, the more troubled I became. The more troubled I became, the more enlightened I became. The more enlightened I became, the more peace I found. Yet, questions continued to come. Conflicting answers continued the cycle of truth, troubled mind, enlightenment, and peace. The quest for all truth continues as I piece together the multi-colored doctrinal rainbow of truth, which ultimately leads to source of all light and truth, the eternal christ of God. Okay, this posting is becoming quite large. So, I am going to divide it into two parts. This part relates part of my orthodox christian experience, but the next section will concentrate more on my gnostic experiences and views. So, how did I make the transition from restorational & catholic christianity to  gnostic nazirene spirituality? Well, that would require an entire volume all to itself. Allow me to simply point out a couple key road markers that paved the way for me. 1. After years of fearing satan, demons, and deception: I was finally able to fully see the truth, from an orthodox Christian's perspective, of the universal salvation - or ultimate reconciliation of all things. Christ's redemptive work on the cross not only saved a few fortunate people, it saved all of creation. I could now rest in peace knowing that Christian orthodoxy, carried to its most logical conclusion, ultimately resulted in the salvation of the entire cosmos. This could even be defended apart from a belief in reincarnation. It was the prevailing view of the early Church. I now could explore other spiritual views, practices, doctrines, etc. without fear of loosing my salvation due to some sort of demonic trickery, as my salvation was not merely promised, but destined as per orthodox dogma. 2. Increasingly, I continued to find myself at odds with the sin conscious christian world around me. It became more and more obvious to me that the new testament repeatedly affirms the fact that all things are lawful, but not everything is beneficial to humanity. God does not have a problem with your sinful lifestyle, you do. You can either live your life under karma, the law of moses, or grace, the law of Christ. Either way, all things balance themselves out in the end. It is more advantageous to live a holy and righteous life now, rather than having to continually learn righteousness over successive life times. Nevertheless, you will eventually learn righteousness. The only question is with regards to how many trials and tribulations you choose to place yourself through to get there. 3. Surprise, surprise, surprise... The arch-enemy of the orthodox-church was very much the spiritual christians of the early church. Did not Paul warn about those who were spiritually puffed up about all the knowledge and wisdom they had? What? You mean that the gnostics were actually the disciples of Paul? Could this possibly be true? You mean that gnostics actually used the letters of Paul to defend their spirituality, that secret oral traditions taught a different form of scriptural exegesis? Now this is starting to make sense. Reading the letters of Paul literally gave birth to the orthodox church, but reading them spiritually gave birth to the gnostic church. Is not the same true of jewish scriptures, such as blood sacrifices in Jerusalem and bloodless sacrifices among the essenes? Wonder of wonders, the parallels are indeed quite fascinating. Perhaps these two views are two sides of the same eternal coin. 4. Dare I believe it to be true? The Gospel of the Holy Twelve, or Nazirenes, not only confirmed almost all the spiritual truths that I had embraced over the years, but has the most authentic feel of truth concerning the life and teachings of the historical Yeshua. The all-inclusive Yeshua, whose love and compassion for all life, is finally available for the world to see. Truly, he is the perfect expression of the cosmic christ and last adam. 5. Wow! Reincarnation and the great judgment day of a worldwide resurrection are mutually compatible! Could it be that the great traditions, of east and west, are similtaneously correct? Could it be that every sprit has multiple soul incarnations, which are unique and experience heaven-hell afterlifes? Could it simultaneously be true that there will be a great resurrection day, whereby every sprit's previous incarnations will be united together? Indeed, it is not only possible, but almost all spiritual traditions are originally based on the concept that the sprit and soul divides at death and have different afterlife experiences. Fascinating indeed! Okay, this email is becoming really lengthy, but hopefully this will provide an overall idea of how a orthodox or catholic gnostic christian can participate in a forum like this. Unfortunately, as you have already noticed, most people that are active on this forum, simply do not have the orthodox background required to truly understand Christianity. Allan is perhaps one of the few exceptions, as he clearly demonstrates a good analysis of the orthodox perspective in his writings. He continues to do a phenomenal job in restoring prenicene christianity and the nazirene way within a modern world. That is not to say, however, that I agree on all issues with him. Speaking of which, this would be a good place to give me orthodox opinion concerning this group discussion. 1. I am a worshipper of the God-Man Jesus. I make no apologies for this, as worship has been a tremendous part of my spirituality over the years. The essenes, nazirenes, and ebionites regarded Jesus as a man who became the Christ. Christian gnostics believed the same, but also worshipped the risen Jesus Christ, along with thier orthodox brethren, as they understood the principle that people become whatever they behold and strive to imitate. They thus worshipped the risen christ knowing that they were in fact being transformed into his image. Most restorational orthodox christians are doing this today, but they would outright deny any gnostic identifications or influences. I can almost guarantee you that anyone who rejects the power of worshipping the risen Christ has not experienced the tangible presence of Christ through vertical worship, a form of worship whereby one's deepest love, gratitude, and love towards the savior is expressed in a pure form of vertical heart-to-heart communication through the power of music and prayer. This is something totally different than the horizontal worship that most christians traditionally participate in by singing about god or how great God has been to them lately. Anyhow, the point is this. Allan's purpose is to restore TheWay and the teachings of the historical Yeshua to the world. His views and experiences, of the historical Yeshua and Ebionites, do not necessarily reflect the experiences of the other apostles and early christian gnostics. Thus, I would disagree with the contention that Jesus did not come to promote belief in the Christ - neither did he come to promote the worship of Christ. This has more to do with his relationship to different groups of people than it does about absolutes. Indeed, my worship is becoming more and more focused upon the indwelling Christ that resides within all of us, rather than being confined to one specific human being. Nevertheless, I have absolutely no problem worshipping the historical Yeshua before a literal throne room of God singing eternal praises to the eternal lamb of God. 2. I disagree with the assumption that most, if not all, literal interpretations of scriptures are useless and void of any real historical accuracy. This may indeed be so, but these stories have been such a part of my christian walk that it is impossible for me to outright dismiss them of any value. Instead, I try to remain as dogma free as possible, while simultaneously accepting the stories and doctrines - as given in literal exegesis. There are very few absolutes that I now cling to in doctrine or historical narratives. 3. I do not embrace the duality of various moral and ethical views shared by the judeo-christian-zoroastrian worldviews. That is, I am very much a libertarian politically and spiritually. There are multiple ways of interpreting the garden-of-eden legends. The serpent can represent both christ and the devil, depending on your perspective. Likewise, the knowledge of good and evil can be viewed as enlightenment or bondage. Personally, I believe all interpretations are valid because God has always been able to communicate multiple, sometimes even paradoxical and conflicting, messages through the same set of scriptures. As it pertains to duality, God never wanted us to know the difference between good and evil. Rejecting the tree of the knowledge of good and evil can also mean moral relativism. This is absolute heresy in the minds of many religious people, but it is highly doubtful that the God of creation truly abhorrs humanities enjoyment of sexuality or the nakedness of the human body. By the way, they do not necessarily have to go inseparably together, as it is completely possible to be within a socially nudist environment without any sort of sexuality being expressed. Anyhow, my point is simply that the gnostic christians are accused of, among other things, not accepting the moral mandates handed down by the demiurge or false-god of the fallen-mind. They instead embraced the more ancient law-of-one teachings, whereby all things are viewed in the context of the greater whole. An act of evil for one may actually be an act of charity for another. An act of murder may be evil, but it could also be an expression of karma. Sexuality could both hinder and/or enhance your spirituality. Ultimately, the gnostic sought out truths and personal morals for themselves, and refused to accept any lawgiver apart from the inner light within. Whelp, dinner is calling. I trust that these posts continue to bring out some of the differences and similarities between the spiritual paths that we are all on. Allan's path is to restore the nazirene way and I wholeheartedly agree with the purpose of his websites and forum. I'm still on a quest to connect with my higher soul-self to better understand my own past incarnations, and the purpose of this one. I do not currently know the details, but the one thing that has been clear to me since I was a kid. I am a unique individual with a very special mission to accomplish in this life. I am a defender of the christian brethren and a knight of the coming glorious bride of Christ. May the love and light of Christ dwell within you